So, if you’re like me at the moment, you
can not be bothered to keep up with popular culture aside from occasionally
pretending to read the news, or sighing and nodding knowingly when someone
brings up a topical issue. ‘Them Syrians…maybe they should stop being so mean
to each other. That whole issue in Turk-…estan…really needs to get sorted. Not
intervention obviously because who are we to tell them to eat pork…what…that’s
not right is it?”
Or, you know, something along those lines.
So, here is my short re-cap of the past two weeks.
·
Fairfax will now solely be
writing articles on why mining magnates ‘aren’t really that bad after all’ and
why, in particular, Gina Rinehart looks really pretty under the right lighting
(sponsored by Hungry Jacks: the bullshit is better….and harder to spot).
·
Gosh, that Justin Beiber…..I,
literally, I just can’t.
·
Politicians in this countries
administration are still not as mature as my 14-year-old brother.
·
We’re all dumb, drunk, and
racist and it doesn’t look any better through the eyes of Indian tourists than
it does through the eyes of the producers of The Shire.
·
We’re all dead. Or at least we
will be soon. Sure we may not have noticed any REAL effects from the carbon
tax, but I PROMISE you we will be in a real crisis, veeeeery soon. Just you
wait. I mean the carbon tax is such a big problem that it's actually causing
Labour politicians to sing out of sheer fear and terror. Soon, the whole Labour
caucus will be forced to sing the entire soundtrack to the first season of Glee
because Liberal politicians are genuinely just that FUCKING STUCK IN THEIR WAYS
WITH THEIR FUCKING SCARE CAMPAIGNING THAT IT WOULD DRIVE ANYONE CRAZY. Can you
see me? Am I real?
·
Tony Abbott remains the biggest
dickhead in Australian politics. At least Bob Katter is legally mentally
challenged. Wait…he definitely is right? (Disclaimer: He definitely isn’t.
That is definitely an insult to the mentally challenged community).
So, if you can be bothered. There’s my recap. But who really
cares? Next week will be exactly the same.
