Thursday, November 6, 2014

Liberal Feminism™

-->
Lowenstein’s article in the Guardian about western developed feminism received a lot of attention and criticism or applause. However, what a lot of people have failed to do (aside from Karen Fletcher’s great response) is recognize that some of the points he made had merit and other points he made would make even the most diplomatic feminist do a massive head desk.

What he managed to capture was the fact western feminists do, in fact, focus on relative trivialities within the western world whilst their fellow women in the Middle East are being sold to men in markets. Yet he didn’t seem to acknowledge that perhaps one aspect of western feminists obsession with writing about shoes instead of Pakistan is a part of an endemic broader issue within society. He ignores the point that perhaps this is something the entire west is guilty of. The desensitization of the west to bigger issues isn’t the fault of feminism; it’s the fault of the system we live under.
 
Furthermore, the way in which Lowenstein attempts capture how women are ignoring bigger issues is simply flawed. Firstly, he writes that the reason men don’t write about feminism much is because they’re afraid of being attacked. Yet, he ignores the fact that most feminists aren’t, if you would believe it, men. Within mainstream society, the majority of men don’t even know it’s possible for them to be feminists thus why would they care? Even within public life or the scepter of journalistic life, the majority of men are still unlikely to identify as feminists and therefore probably wouldn’t see it as the most pressing issue to talk about. The most important part of this however is just how infantilized such a comment is. When was the last time you saw a man who wrote about feminism being threatened with rape? Yet female feminists don’t seem to have a problem speaking out despite constant barrages of rape or death threats. So, what’s the worst that could happen if a man writes about feminism? Someone might disagree with him. In other words, to Lowenstein and any man scared of writing about feminism because their views might be challenged – just start writing more - we don’t actually bite.

He then makes the point that mainstream western feminists supported Gillard whilst ignoring some of her more horrible policies. Once again, such an issue is not just one for western feminism. Gillard’s entire reign was covered in a thick layer of the mainstream media focusing on her tripping over in heels rather than her asylum seeker policies. In essence, the mainstream feminist response to Gillard’s time in power was a hyperbolic reaction to the constant and continual barrage of sexism that Gillard received. If the feminists weren’t responding to the trivialities of her reign, then all we probably would have seen was the sexists focusing on the trivialities of her reign. Furthermore, let’s not forget that it’s not the job of prominent feminists to focus on governmental policy unless it address’ women’s subordination – the mainstream political media are the ones that were supposed to be doing that. Even so, most prominent feminists did call Gillard out on certain policy that was inherently sexist. You might recall most mainstream western feminists attacking Gillard over the fact that she allowed for a continued tax on tampons and many mainstream feminists, in fact, attacking her cutting of single parent benefits constantly and consistently over their large Twitter channels. Of course, that’s not really the same has having it published in the Daily Life or similar and we all have to permit that, that is reprehensible.

Although, it’s now deleted he also blamed feminists for anti-feminists. However, to disagree with a feminist over how to address women’s subordination and then become an anti-feminist is a bit like disagreeing with someone over how to address racism and then joining the KKK. A part of what has been lost during this whole conversation is that feminism isn’t a homogenous theory and no single person who identifies as a feminist thinks that all feminists are right or that all streams of feminisms are correct. That’s right there are several streams of feminisms – although a lot of the responses to Lowenstein seem to inaccurately imply otherwise. So, can we all, for the love of Sheezus, please stop tarring all feminists with the same brush just because of one feminist’s views on women’s subordination – doing that is just stupid.

Finally, Lowenstein points to click-baiting and the general commercialization of feminism as a guise for selling middle-class aspiration and capitalist ideals. There is truth to this point in that the now mainstream concept of ‘breaking the glass ceiling’ in some way perpetuates the myth that all women can be equal under a capitalist system if they fight hard enough for it, which is, of course, false. Such an ideology is consistently backed up by pop culture icons like Beyonce or Lily Allen. However, are the mainstream liberal feminists at fault here or are the people cutting their paychecks at fault? Generic Feminist So and So™ writes five articles a week about shoes because, in all likelihood, someone tells Generic Feminist ™ to do that or at the very least is constricted by writing something that will get at least 50, 000 hits per article. So, is that a reflection on Generic Feminist So and So™ or the system we live in? For some reason Lowenstein insists that it’s fault of Generic Feminist ™ and not the restrictions of writing about feminism in a capitalist system.

In my opinion, the fact that ‘feminism lite’ exists is not a reflection on feminism but a reflection on capitalism and it’s important to keep that in perspective when approaching this issue. ‘Feminism heavy’ exists, though, and we all need to do what we can to throw more weight behind it. So, cheers, Lowenstein for starting this debate.

Now let’s start talking about things that matter:


Saturday, October 11, 2014

Let's Talk About Schizophrenia

-->
#MentalAs kicked off this week and I think everyone does and should feel proud of what they achieved. Although, all the Twitter handles involved seemed to make the point that #MentalAs finished on Friday night, this does not mean that the conversations around mental illness should ever finish. We need more of the ABC’s style of awareness raising but we also need so many more things put into action around these conversations. As was mentioned on #qanda, as they kicked things off, the national and federal government’s have increasingly gutted this countries mental health services. That HAS to change.

I don’t want to focus on health care services in this particular post, however. Instead, I would like to focus on a mental illness that, for me, seemed a bit like the weird kid in the corner at the party during all this conversation (believe me I would know a thing or two being the weird kid in the corner). The mental illness I am referring to is schizophrenia. I am fortunate enough to have someone close to me in my life who has schizophrenia. To clarify, when I say fortunate, I mean simply that I am able to look at the mental illness from a slightly more informed lens than, probably, most. I feel the need to clarify this because I don’t want to insinuate that is in anyway easy to have someone close to you who has schizophrenia or that schizophrenia is some superpower for those affected – it’s not. Schizophrenia does severely impact on every part of a person’s life and those who love them (I’m just dropping the realness, guys). 


For the purposes of this blog, I am going to talk about this person’s experiences using a false name as both of us would like to protect this person’s identity. So, the person I am going to be writing about will be called Jessica. Please feel safe in the knowledge though that she is a real person and I have not changed anything else about her experiences with schizophrenia. I first learned that Jessica had schizophrenia when I was in my first year at uni. A friend called me up and exclaimed over the phone ‘Jessica’s in hospital.’ Looking back at this, the most disturbing part was my reaction, because the first thing I thought was ‘OMG she probably went in trying to convince them she was physically sick and they thought she was crazy and stuck her in the mental ward.’ I really wasn’t far off the mark. Jessica had a tendency to be a hypochondriac on a very extreme level and they had put her in the mental ward. I later found out though that Jessica had collapsed after what seemed like an anxiety attack at her church  (she’s a fundamentalist Christian) and her pastor had called an ambulance. At the hospital, they decided she wasn’t talking sense and boom! Mental ward – population overmedication and shock therapy (that’s right, kids, this tired and fucked up practice still exists. Jessica told me it was one of the worst things she’s ever experienced in her life).

Jessica had always been a bit odd in her behaviour to an outside observer. She is smart, well-spoken, well-read and can converse with almost anyone about almost anything, which I personally see as a innate skill she’s always possessed. However, once you get to know her better, it becomes slightly more evident that she had somewhat unhealthy behaviour patterns. She wasn’t a very stable person – she changed her job at least once a year and moved house A LOT. She was also emotionally unstable, although, being emotionally unstable and generally unstable usually go hand-in-hand. She would become profusely angry over very little things and she would become desperately sad often crying for hours on end for, seemingly, no reason.

I still remember vividly a time when she yelled at me for 20 minutes for leaning against a counter bench because she thought I was being lazy. Most of us just assumed she was PMS’ing (I now realize how sexist that line of thinking is).

She first began to shows signs of psychosis several weeks before she was admitted to the mental ward. For those of you who don’t know what psychosis is lemme break it down: psychosis is a period of time for people with mental illness used to describe “a loss of contact with reality.” For most schizophrenics, psychosis usually involves hearing voices, hallucinating or severe personality changes. A friend living with her told me that she had not been sleeping and we later found out she was suffering from long-term insomnia. She had been spending most nights pacing up and down her hallway muttering to herself.

Another friend living with her told me that she had told him that she thought he was an angel “sent from heaven to rid the world of evil.” I would later learn that a lot of her mental illness made itself known through her Christianity and that, in fact, religious fundamentalism is a very common symptom in schizophrenics. She told me that her mental ward was filled with schizophrenics that thought God was talking to them. There are honestly so many important points to be made on that topic alone but I’ll try to stay on schizophrenia itself for this one. After being released from the mental ward, she began a very rocky road to recovery.

The first step on her road to recovery was her friends, family and counsellors trying to ensure that she took her antipsychotics regularly. The thing about schizophrenia is that when you don’t always have a great grip on reality, taking antipsychotics doesn’t always seem like a rational decision to the sufferer. She is taking them regularly now. The second step was learning to realize and accept as reality that the voices she heard in her heard were disconnected from everyone’s else’s reality except her own. Jessica told me that her voice was the voice of a man. She told me that the man had a scary, but authoritative voice. She now accepts that, that voice is a creation of her own mind.

I asked Jessica a few days ago what schizophrenia was like to live with. Her response: “You know that movie A Beautiful Mind? Yeah it’s exactly like that. Except the voice in my head still isn’t as bad as Russell Crowe.” She’s very to the point these days, which, I believe, is a side effect of her antipsychotics. Just by talking to her, I can tell that her speech and thoughts have become, somehow, elucidated.  There were so many factors in her recovery though including more struggles with insomnia.

When Jessica had just been diagnosed, I remember waiting to go into one of my journalism classes at uni and talking to some of my fellow students as we stood outside. One of the students was telling a story about how she visited a mental ward for a story and all of the students gasped with responses like ‘you’re so brave!’ She quipped ‘Don’t worry. They didn’t put me in with the real crazies like the schizophrenics or something.’ Bile rised in my throat and I just felt so deflated. That anecdote brings me to the first lot of stigma I have noticed though:

Schizophrenics are dangerous:

In responding to this, I don’t want underplay that schizophrenia IS a dangerous mental illness. Jessica told me that one of the voices in her head was telling her to kill her flatmate and if she had, had less of a grip on reality at the time, she may have actually killed him. I also have an acquaintance with schizophrenia who’s voice told him to jump off a bridge. I want to make the point, though, that you aren’t necessarily inclined to kill people at every point in your life just because you suffer from schizophrenia.

As I have already said, there is still so much that psychologists don’t know about mental illness and, in fact, the people who diagnosed Jessica still aren’t sure if it’s not bipolar disorder or schizophrenia although she’s been treated for schizophrenia. Yet no mental illness is permanent (not even schizophrenia) and everyone who suffers from any mental illness will be at different stages of severity. Jessica has now stopped hearing voices for long periods of time and even when she did it, she managed to reach a place where she realized she didn’t have to do what the voice told her to. Furthermore, schizophrenics in mental wards are usually heavily medicated, often to the point of being barely conscious, and are likely at a period when they are going to be the least dangerous to anyone.

Schizophrenia is the same as sociopath or psychopath:

Seriously, just look up the definitions of each – it’s not that hard. Yet, this is still one of the most common misconceptions about schizophrenia. One of the biggest differences between schizophrenics, sociopaths and psychopaths is that the latter two are unable to feel empathy. Jessica is capable of empathy and is, in fact, one of the most empathetic and emotional people I know (which by the way I do not view as a bad thing. Emotionality is a sign of strength not weakness). One of the symptoms of her schizophrenia was that she became obsessed with charity work and helping people in need. A sociopath and psychopath’s behaviour is more likely to be self-interested due to the symptoms of their suffering, Of course, you might think a lot of people do charity work land it’s surely not a sign of mental illness, but it did prove to be a problem for Jessica as she was putting everyone else before her own needs or even survival.

I know from personal experience and the experience of Jessica, that the only way anyone with mental illness can look towards recovery is by accepting that what they have IS an illness. Knowing that Jessica had schizophrenia helped me learn how to treat her and simply be around her. I now understand that her behaviour is often defined by her mental illness and, as a result, I can be compassionate and understanding rather than harsh as I might have before she was diagnosed. In particular, I no longer become frustrated with her when something seems obvious to me and not to her just like I wouldn’t become frustrated with someone with depression for not being happy and JUST like I wouldn’t become frustrated with someone in a wheelchair for not being able to walk.

I want to end this blog on a happy note, so I’ll leave you with this thought. I once heard a comedian say: “I’m so sick of stigma around these old words. Why don’t we just call schizophrenics 'over imaginative?'”

Sunday, September 14, 2014

20 Things That Only Women Will Understand (If You Hate Obvious Gender Stereotypes)



We all have those things that we do, don't we ladies? Because don't you ever forget that having a vagina comes packaged nicely with ridiculous gender stereotypes that not only make you feel like a lesser person if you don't conform to them but also usually encourage society to take women less seriously in the real world. WE SO DUMB! But don't you dare say that me if you're a boy cause I'm on my period, so I'll probably snap you ahahahahaha

Us all here at Team Jemma's obscure blog decided to come up with 20 things you'll only understand if you're a lady. BACK OFF BOYS! Oh heteronormativity, you're so good for easy hits.

-       What it’s like to have a vagina; amiright?

-       What it’s like bleed for 7 days and then feel ashamed of it because society.

-       What it feels like to push human life through your body

-       XX chromosones: waddup with that?

-       What it feels like to sexually frightened on a regular basis.

-       What it feels like to be terrified walking home by yourself at night

-       What it feels like to get paid less than a man for doing the same job.

-       What it feels like to be shamed for having feminine characteristics and then make the assumption that there must be something wrong with being a woman and consequently feel more ashamed for having a vagina

-       What it feels like to be shamed for having or wanting sex

-       What it feels like to be experience mild or severe sexual assault on a regular basis and then have people imply you wanted it because of how you were dressed or were behaving

-       What it feels like to genuinely hate yourself just because of your gender

-       What it feels like to have male politicians consistently tell you what to do with your body and life more generally

-       What it feels like to be labelled cranky, or boring just because you demand more for yourself than consistent oppression

-       What it feels like to have a one-night stand and not be sure whether or not you are going to be sexually shamed for it.

-       What it feels like to be raped as an instrument of war and general violent oppression

-       What it feels like to be shamed for not being girly enough or being 'too much like a boy.'

-       What it feels like to think that your looks are your only worth

-       What it feels like to grin and bear it when someone in your professional life says something sexist to you

-       What it feels like to be constantly sexually harassed in the workplace and for no one to really give a shit

-       What it feels like to have someone blame you for sexual attention you receive or blame yourself for sexual attention you receive

-       What it feels like to be a minority

Holler at me ladies! Boys, you just like totez won’t get this tehe. Next post I’ll do why Beyonce turns everybody gay…fuck it I’ll do any mundane shit as long you validate me ;)

Friday, August 29, 2014

5 awesome things to do this weekend!

(If you know that your degree is going to leave you financially crippled, you won't be able to afford to drive soon, and the government is making you apply for 40 non-existent jobs a month which you'll never get).

- Try to take your mind off the future, the past and the present by filling your head up with nonsense...by illegally downloading some reality TV (because God knows you can't afford to buy it).



- If you already have a degree, like me, and you know how much it's going to cost you - you could try setting it on fire, pretend it's an ancient manuscript and then sell it on the black market for extra cash. If this doesn't work, crying over your degree generally helps to relieve the tension.



- If by some accident your future does begin to creep into your head - don't forget that goon doesn't just work as pain relief - it also makes a great pillow. That shit's just ergonomic.



-  You could always just chill at home with a good book but try to stay away from anything that reminds you the country is headed towards 18th century class warfare - and yes I mean Dickens!



- If you can't afford to leave your shitty suburb because you can't afford to fucking drive anywhere, then you could always try hanging out on your corner with some mates throwing stones at your metaphysical lack of future. Don't stay there too long though unless you want Current Affair all up in your face telling you to get a job!



Well, that's it for me. I hope you found these useful!


Tuesday, July 1, 2014

The dirty, dirty F word.

-->



I watched this video and it inspired me to write about the ol’ ‘F’ word again. If you haven’t seen it yet lacigreen lists some beautiful and poignant reasons why she is a Feminist – both personally and more globally. I’ve already touched on this, but the vid inspired me to would explore some of my more personal reasons and somewhat similar reasons for being a Feminist. If anything, talking about this is therapeutic for me, but, if anyone out there can relate, then that’s a plus. So, considering I generally have a phobia of cameras – here we go.

My female friends warn me against telling people that I’m a Feminist.

I was recently at a pub having a few quiet drinks with some friends and a guy came up and started hitting on us. We got onto the topic of Feminism and one of my friends made a move to hush me (as though to say ‘don’t scare him off with the scary ‘F’ word!). Don’t get me wrong, I love my friend’s to bits, but I think this is an ideology that has been drummed into them whether through the media or family upbringings. Although, if I quizzed them, they would essentially agree with equality of the sexes in all aspects of society, some of them are still terrified of telling a guy that. Being a Feminist isn’t something that any woman should be afraid of expressing to anyone and the fact that a lot of women still feel this way just shows that, as a society, we aren’t done yet.

The sad part is that they aren’t wrong in the sense that telling a man that you’re a Feminist in a dating or romantic situation often does scare them off. The instant assumption seems to be that I’m going to follow the phrase ‘I’m a Feminist’ by ripping off their head for having the audacity to have a penis. Not the case.

I don’t hate men. I’m sick of people assuming that I do.

When rape cases are brought to court, I’m genuinely offended on behalf of men when it is assumed that the rapist couldn’t control himself because the woman was wearing a short skirt or because she was branded as a “slut” in some way.

The very fact that I sincerely love the men that I choose to keep in my life is one of the reasons that I AM a Feminist because it’s patriarchy that states men are animalistic creatures unable to be held accountable for their actions.

Feminism holds that men are better than that and that is the exact reason why they SHOULD be held accountable for their actions.

I know this point has already been made a lot in the Feminist-based media circles, but I think it needs to be continually made until I stop encountering people who think otherwise.

I respect decent men just as much as I respect decent women and the fact that I have to point that out on a regular basis pisses me off.

My male friends are victims of patriarchy just as much as my female friends

Have you ever been out clubbing and accidentally come across those guys?

By those guys, I mean the guys that go out looking for a fight…

They don’t care who they hurt or even what will provoke them, they just want to beat something up.

I went clubbing a lot in Townsville, and it was almost impossible not to encounter those guys at least once a night. One night, I was standing on a corner with a male friend who was going to give me and another female friend a lift home. We were waiting for one of his other friends to bring the car around when those guys came out of nowhere. WE WERE SO CLOSE TO AVOIDING THEM. DAMN!

They walked straight up to my male friend and insinuated that he was gay. They then proceeded to hit on us.

I know right…

I think the assumption was supposed to be that because he wasn’t hyper masculine and he was hanging out with chicks, he was of the homosexual persuasion. 

He politely responded that he wasn’t gay but it wouldn’t matter if he was.

They seemed to think that, that was a gay enough answer and proceeded to lay into him. There’s nothing worse than the feeling of helplessness you have, as a woman, when you see a male friend in a fight and you know you don’t have the physical capacity to weigh in on it. So, me and my female friend went into overdrive and tried to talk them out of it with a combination of faux-hitting on them and confusing them with hard questions (what’s 2+2?).

You’ll be pleased to learn that, that worked pretty quickly and they went on to bug someone else.

The point I’m trying to make though is that men are shamed on a regular basis for not conforming to patriarchal ideologies because patriarchy holds that there’s something wrong with having ‘female-like’ attributes.

I don’t know any guy who hasn’t been a victim of homophobia and thus inherently a victim of patriarchy at some point in his life. Whether, they actually are straight or gay is a complete irrelevancy.

If you think that your male friends or you, as a male, have never been a victim of patriarchy, you’re kidding yourself.











Friday, June 6, 2014

I think I saw you on Tinder...


-->
If you’ve ever wanted to delve into the dark and rotting minds of humanity, a good way is to spend an inordinate amount of time on social media channels. One that has caught my eye lately, which I’m sure has caught a lot of people’s eyes is the app called ‘Tinder.’

‘Well, that’s correct son. Me and your Mum met when I saw her face and swiped right…’
I would totez swipe her, amiright?
Can you imagine it? Still, there’s a charm and immediacy that you can get from Tinder that you probably couldn’t get from other forms of social media. One of them being the instant confidence boost that comes from people swiping you right - because Tinder is a bit like cyber pub except one in which you walk up to every member of the opposite sex and ask them the question 'would you fuck me?' Then it tallies all your yes' and helps you to forget about the no's. Of course, when you do start talking to these guys (as it was in my case) you are immediately barraged with offers for sexual acts that they would never have the gall to ask you for in person (and I'm talking 50 shades of fucked up).

When you finally find 1 or 3 of those rare few humans that you can tell you instantly connect with on either a superficial or deeper level (because let’s be real sometimes a superficial connection is so much more important). You’re then left with this other wall; this wall that can only be described as the illusion that the person you’re talking to is merely a robotic sounding board so that you open up and tell this person more about yourself than you might a mate you’ve had for 8 years. Of course, Tinder isn’t the only       cyberspace this illusion exists in; in fact that rule can basically work for the entire Interwebz.

The point I am trying to make, though, is that when you finally do meet with these people that you clicked with it feels a little bit like you’re stepping into the Matrix – except you’re not even Neo – you’re just this random nobody freaking out because you’ve entered another dimension and nobody else quite gets it. Purely, in the sense that it's hard to process either the difference or the lack of difference between them and their cyber personality. Everyone's cyber personality is wholly different (I've only met one or two truly talented individuals in my whole life who's cyber personalities are exactly the same as their real ones) and yet you are always shocked when that news reveals itself.

If you think about it though, what can we really expect? Tinder is essentially for people with crushing social anxiety like myself to try and break through the boundaries created by the endless loop of work, play, work with exactly the same people. In fact, apps like Tinder work so well because they provide an ailment to the modern sickness of the Gen Y consumer-driven lifestyle-dominating caricature.

As a woman, though, Tinder had a lot to teach me. I've spent lot of my life pretending to be proud or attempting to protect my dignity. ‘Of course I don’t care that he broke up with me…in fact I’m going to go show him what he’s missing because of how much more together my life is.” I think it’s a mentality, which as most people are aware, is simply engendered stereotyping perpetuated by the media and passed down into the ideological framework of young women – aka men are emotional human babies and women are there to play the mummy figure. Thus, I think it’s easier for men to admit when they need what they need – compassion, sex, just someone to cuddle at night.

As life goes on, I've realized that vulnerability is a pivotal and ultimately vital lesson to learn in life and not enough young women are taught that. Rejection and humiliation are key ingredients in becoming a tolerable human being purely because you realize that not being liked by everyone is basically fine. It’s so much easier to just let go when you stop obsessing, either about the perjorative 'male gaze,' or just generally, for five minutes, things become a lot easier.

Thursday, January 30, 2014

You Should Date a Date Who Girl Who Thinks Basic Manipulation of Literary Devices Are Clever

-->
Date a girl who laughs at your jokes despite the fact that you probably ripped them straight from Youtube. Date a girl who is too stupid to pick up on the condescension that drips from every sentence that leaves your mouth. Date a girl who isn’t annoyed by Richard Dawkins. Date a girl who will drag you to a million different venues before finding one suitably 'underground' just to avoid having a cliched date. Date a girl who thinks having short hair makes her interesting and went vegan because all her friends were. Date a girl who wears band t-shirts with bands that she’s never listened to but will definitely pretend she has if you ask her. Date a girl with no critical faculties.

But, most importantly, date a girl who thinks basic manipulation of literary devices like this or this are clever. Because let's face it dude - you don't have any other choice.