I think I saw you on Tinder...

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If you’ve ever wanted to delve into the dark and rotting minds of humanity, a good way is to spend an inordinate amount of time on social media channels. One that has caught my eye lately, which I’m sure has caught a lot of people’s eyes is the app called ‘Tinder.’

‘Well, that’s correct son. Me and your Mum met when I saw her face and swiped right…’

I would totez swipe her, amiright?

Can you imagine it? Still, there’s a charm and immediacy that you can get from Tinder that you probably couldn’t get from other forms of social media. One of them being the instant confidence boost that comes from people swiping you right - because Tinder is a bit like cyber pub except one in which you walk up to every member of the opposite sex and ask them the question 'would you fuck me?' Then it tallies all your yes' and helps you to forget about the no's. Of course, when you do start talking to these guys (as it was in my case) you are immediately barraged with offers for sexual acts that they would never have the gall to ask you for in person (and I'm talking 50 shades of fucked up).

When you finally find 1 or 3 of those rare few humans that you can tell you instantly connect with on either a superficial or deeper level (because let’s be real sometimes a superficial connection is so much more important). You’re then left with this other wall; this wall that can only be described as the illusion that the person you’re talking to is merely a robotic sounding board so that you open up and tell this person more about yourself than you might a mate you’ve had for 8 years. Of course, Tinder isn’t the only       cyberspace this illusion exists in; in fact that rule can basically work for the entire Interwebz.

The point I am trying to make, though, is that when you finally do meet with these people that you clicked with it feels a little bit like you’re stepping into the Matrix – except you’re not even Neo – you’re just this random nobody freaking out because you’ve entered another dimension and nobody else quite gets it. Purely, in the sense that it's hard to process either the difference or the lack of difference between them and their cyber personality. Everyone's cyber personality is wholly different (I've only met one or two truly talented individuals in my whole life who's cyber personalities are exactly the same as their real ones) and yet you are always shocked when that news reveals itself.

If you think about it though, what can we really expect? Tinder is essentially for people with crushing social anxiety like myself to try and break through the boundaries created by the endless loop of work, play, work with exactly the same people. In fact, apps like Tinder work so well because they provide an ailment to the modern sickness of the Gen Y consumer-driven lifestyle-dominating caricature.

As a woman, though, Tinder had a lot to teach me. I've spent lot of my life pretending to be proud or attempting to protect my dignity. ‘Of course I don’t care that he broke up with me…in fact I’m going to go show him what he’s missing because of how much more together my life is.” I think it’s a mentality, which as most people are aware, is simply engendered stereotyping perpetuated by the media and passed down into the ideological framework of young women – aka men are emotional human babies and women are there to play the mummy figure. Thus, I think it’s easier for men to admit when they need what they need – compassion, sex, just someone to cuddle at night.

As life goes on, I've realized that vulnerability is a pivotal and ultimately vital lesson to learn in life and not enough young women are taught that. Rejection and humiliation are key ingredients in becoming a tolerable human being purely because you realize that not being liked by everyone is basically fine. It’s so much easier to just let go when you stop obsessing, either about the perjorative 'male gaze,' or just generally, for five minutes, things become a lot easier.