Hungry Jacks, The Bullshit is Better

So, if you’re like me at the moment, you can not be bothered to keep up with popular culture aside from occasionally pretending to read the news, or sighing and nodding knowingly when someone brings up a topical issue. ‘Them Syrians…maybe they should stop being so mean to each other. That whole issue in Turk-…estan…really needs to get sorted. Not intervention obviously because who are we to tell them to eat pork…what…that’s not right is it?”

Or, you know, something along those lines. So, here is my short re-cap of the past two weeks.

·      Fairfax will now solely be writing articles on why mining magnates ‘aren’t really that bad after all’ and why, in particular, Gina Rinehart looks really pretty under the right lighting (sponsored by Hungry Jacks: the bullshit is better….and harder to spot).

·      Gosh, that Justin Beiber…..I, literally, I just can’t.

·      Politicians in this countries administration are still not as mature as my 14-year-old brother.

·      We’re all dumb, drunk, and racist and it doesn’t look any better through the eyes of Indian tourists than it does through the eyes of the producers of The Shire.

·      We’re all dead. Or at least we will be soon. Sure we may not have noticed any REAL effects from the carbon tax, but I PROMISE you we will be in a real crisis, veeeeery soon. Just you wait. I mean the carbon tax is such a big problem that it's actually causing Labour politicians to sing out of sheer fear and terror. Soon, the whole Labour caucus will be forced to sing the entire soundtrack to the first season of Glee because Liberal politicians are genuinely just that FUCKING STUCK IN THEIR WAYS WITH THEIR FUCKING SCARE CAMPAIGNING THAT IT WOULD DRIVE ANYONE CRAZY. Can you see me? Am I real?

·      Tony Abbott remains the biggest dickhead in Australian politics. At least Bob Katter is legally mentally challenged. Wait…he definitely is right? (Disclaimer: He definitely isn’t. That is definitely an insult to the mentally challenged community).

 So, if you can be bothered. There’s my recap. But who really cares? Next week will be exactly the same.