I was grinding on the dance floor, because you know, I love to dance and ‘busting-a-move’ makes me feel less like my life is moving away from the semblance of my youth. I didn’t notice at the time, but I accidently bumped into a man behind me and, let’s face it, you can’t really attempt to move in a club moshpit without bumping into someone.
All this said, a woman, clearly on some kind of paranoid trip grabbed the man, proceeded to hug and kiss him, and then spent the rest of the night glaring at me in a threatening manner.
I’m not trying to make out I’m the saint in this situation, I don’t mind dancing with the odd guy on the dance floor, particularly if he’s a good dancer, but never anything more. And I certainly wasn’t interested in dancing with this man. Fist pumping, dude? I’m sure you thought Jersey Shore is legitimate television.....
I digress.
I receive this behaviour from women a lot. And whenever I explain this to other people their instant response is: ‘Jemma, you’re a good looking girl. Women are just jealous. You’re going to have to get used to it.’
Now, don’t get me wrong, I know this is just to make me feel better. But I have had this auto-response drilled into me from a very young age. But in the light of day, or the real world aka ‘not the high-school playground,’ I wonder what continues to drive this mentality.
What does any woman have to be jealous of? And what threat do I, or any other woman on this planet, pose to the constituency of other woman exhibiting this bitchy behaviour.
It seems to me, that as soon as the concept of men or finding a mate for life enters some women’s head, the rest of their fellow gender instantly become nothing but competition in the race to find that right ‘Stan, who really loves footy and kicking it with the boys, but will ultimately stick a rock on your finger and make you eternally happy’ guy.
I don’t think I’m exempt from these feelings. Every time, it feels like things are not going right with my boyfriend, I have those fleeting ‘shit, I’m going to die alone. Insert feelings of paranoia here_____' thoughts.
But these thoughts don’t instantly translate into - all women are the enemy.
I fail to see why in a society where women are STILL marginalized and treated as a lesser gender, we make an enemy out of each other. And for what? Usually, it’s to please men – the gender doing the marginalizing.
For example, whenever you see women shy away from the ‘feminist’ tag, it’s because they’re scared of being seen as ‘hating men’ or if a woman labels another woman a ‘slut’ it’s because they’re perpetuating a mentality created by men – because ‘really I’m, like, one of the boys. I love men, really.’
All I think when I hear or read comments like that is: ‘you are clearly so scared of offending a patriarchal society that it actually dictates your ideologies and behaviour.’
"Do you have a vagina? Do you want to own it? If yes, then you’re a feminist." – Caitlin Moran
And if whacking revealing clothing over your vagina is what you want to do then that’s your choice. Bloody good on you for making a decision for yourself about the body you own, because you have the right to own it.
Don’t demonize your fellow gender.
Get angry – but not at each other. We’re in this together. As a group and gender, we need to get angry at society. We need to get angry at a society that encourages us to pit ourselves against one another, when the real problem lies in the way we are treated as a group.
Whatever happened to sisterhood?
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